Rediscovering the 'Me' in 'Mumeeeeeee'

'I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways'. (Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, 1861)

July 17, 2010

Who would you put on the naughty step?

I have been passed this most excellent meme by Emily at Babyrambles and Rosie at Rosie Scribble. It's a toughie. So many possibilities; only one step. But, after much careful thought and consideration, I am - perhaps controversially - putting Barney on the naughty step. Yes, Barney. He of the purple dinosaur; created to terrify, I mean amuse children.

Why the naughty step for him? Firstly, because Barney is the most terrifying creation of the last two centuries. He freaks me out. He's even more terrifying than Iggle Piggle. Just look at him. I mean, really look. Those eyes, the mouth, the mittens for hands. You see what I mean? Spooky stuff.
Secondly, he's not even a proper dinosaur (and I know my dinosaurs). Thirdly, there's his voice. Have you heard his voice? It is worse than fingernails scraping down a blackboard and reduces me to a ball of seething anger every time I hear it. And finally (although I really could keep going for some time), I'm putting Barney on the naughty step because he skips around annoyingly in badly designed sets of mock parks and gardens and is friendly with a gang of stage school kids who, quite frankly, are lucky not to have been put on the naughty step instead of him.

So Barney, I am sorry, but it is the naughty step for you, my purple friend. I strongly suggest you sit there for a very, very long time and think about the consequences of your actions. Phew. I feel much better for that.

I now pass the delight of naughty stepping someone onto the following. Enjoy!



  1. Oh I could kiss you!!!! I have hated Barney with a passion since my (now teenage) son forced me to watch the same video OVER and OVER from about 6am every morning.
    A pair of concrete boots and a shove off a pier for Barney!
    Excellent choice.
    Although I would only put him on the naughty step if it was impregnated with Semtex.

  2. I love you, you love me we're a happy family, with a great big hug... I'll stop now before you put me on the naughty step with Barney!

  3. There is a great moment in Marian Keyes's Sushi For Beginners where one of the characters, a mother with two young children, has killed off Barney - she can't stand him so tells the kids (if I remember correctly) that he's been run over by a bus, or something like that. I suspect many people loathe the scary purple dinomonster. :)

  4. Oh, that song! I'm not sure the naughty step is going to be enough for Barney. I'm thinking a dungeon of some kind. With rats.
    But when I was growing up we had something similar in France called L'ile aux enfants, with an orange dinosaur called Casimir, and children and fake gardens and all. And you know what? It was great! I have some dvds for my kids and I still watch it with pleasure. But Barney? Why, I'd rather watch the teletubbies on a loop!

  5. Thankfully I've largely escaped Barney and I'm pleased about it too from your description. Maybe you're being slightly unfair though, perhaps Barney can't help being purple and annoying with a stupid voice? (sticking up for purple annoying things here, not sure why though).

  6. I'm with you on this one HCM. I've never 'got' Barney and I hate his singing. Very good choice.

  7. Whoops, we are 'well into' Barney over here! Mich x

  8. Yep, good choice, we don't have a big choice of channels here, but we do have an Arabic channel which shows Barney LOADS!

    My son likes the programme but is terrified of a friends talking/singing Barney toy!

  9. Thanks for the meme HCM.
    Barney needs a Big step in our house.

  10. Barney is all over the world. Especially to the world of the kids. My daughter really loves Barney. I think I already bought all of its episodes. She watches Barney almost every day.

  11. Thank you for tagging me!!! I will have to think if there's anyone I think qualifies... apart from my husband just now. :-)

    I don't know who Barney is, so thanks - now I know to never find out!

  12. Aww, poor Barney! I, for one (and probably the only one) love him! x

  13. I forgot to add, I've tagged you in a meme over at mine, it's been around a while so apologies if you've been tagged before!

  14. I HATE BARNEY TOO! I hate all of what you've written but I also hate that his teeth don't have vertical lines in them!!!! -HMx

  15. Myself and a friend once sang the Barney theme song on a loop for about half an hour as it was the only way to prevent my niece from throwing a huge tantrum on the train, i'm sure all the commuters hated us, but it kept her quiet. I am in agreement with Sandrine and the whole dungeon and rats idea :-)

  16. I so agree. Barney is pure evil and should be destroyed. When my eldest was little we got given a video of eventually got 'damaged' ***ahem*** They also have a Barney Dance Mat. I am filled with dread every time it comes out.

  17. Sorry, am a bit late to the party having had a couple of weeks off blogging and twitterings before my return to work next week. Only had 4 years off in total, lord knows why I think I need another couple of weeks!

    Anyway. Genius post. I can get my teeth into this one for sure.

    As for Barney....

    He is the Devil's Own Son.

    MD xxx


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