Rediscovering the 'Me' in 'Mumeeeeeee'

'I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways'. (Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, 1861)

July 22, 2010

The Great Painting Disaster

It was another wet and windy summer's day. Mummy Bear had run out of ideas and energy for keeping the little ones entertained.

"Mummy Bear, can we make ugly rocks?" asked Medium Sized Bear. Medium Sized Bear had been asking this ever since seeing Mister Maker, the crazy artist man on the telly, make them.

Mummy Bear glanced forlornly out at the lashing rain. "Oh, alright then. But you're not to make a mess."

"We won't."

Mummy Bear gathered together the paint and brushes while Medium Sized Bear and Baby Bear went out into the garden to find suitable rocks.

When the table and the little Bears were covered in spill-proof things, Mummy Bear started them off painting. They were being very well behaved Bears. Well, this isn't so bad after all, she thought to herself and wandered off to fold some of the many millions of clothes depressingly piled up in the laundry basket.

No sooner had she started doing this when, "Stop Baby Bear, stop," whined Medium Sized Bear.

"Mummeeeeeeee," screeched Baby Bear.

"What's going on?" asked Mummy Bear, slightly annoyed.

"Baby Bear keeps trying to use my red paint."

"Baby Bear, stop doing that. Use your blue paint," instructed Mummy Bear and she returned to her laborious chores.

Two minutes later: "Mummy. Mummeeeeeee," shouted Medium Sized Bear.

"Oh for f**k's sake," muttered Mummy Bear under her breath. "What is it now?" she asked, stomping into the kitchen and trying very hard not to be cross.

"He's doing it again. Look. My paint is all messy now." Baby Bear laughed. Medium Sized Bear let out a low growl.

"Right Baby Bear, if you do that again we'll have to put the paints away. OK? Now, paint nicely. Mummy Bear is trying to do some jobs."

No sooner was her back turned when, "Mummeeeeeeee. He's doing it again."

Mummy Bear was cross. "Baby Bear, that is the last time. Use your blue paint or I am putting the paints away." Baby Bear looked like a Bear who was intent on causing trouble. Mummy Bear gave him a hard stare and returned to dealing with her piles.

Five minutes later, Medium Sized Bear and Baby Bear were both howling in their bedrooms after the lovely morning painting had ended up with insults and punches being exchanged.

Mummy Bear found herself staring at a very messy kitchen table with paint and water everywhere and two partly painted rocks in the middle of it all. She wondered whether Mister Maker ever had this sort of problem, sighed, and put the kettle on. Her spirits were lifted slightly when she found a forgotten jaffa cake in the bottom of the biscuit tin.

The End.



  1. Bwahahahahahaha.

    No sympathy, sorry. Paint + small children = disaster in any event, including outside in garden setting on grass.

    Which would explain why my lawn is still rainbow coloured.

    LCM x

  2. Mister Maker doesn't have this problem because he would have underlings to clean up his messes for him!
    I'm just grateful I have wooden floors. And use water-based paints with the kids. And have my emergency stash of chocolate.

  3. Some painting can be fun! See my blog from July 5th, The Gallery. That was a bit of painting on the beach and it amused a lot of people I can tell you.
    Make it water proof and really, who cares, It's Summer!

  4. Your mistake was thinking you could possibly do anything else while they were painting or anything else for that matter but particularly while they are painting, it's really a case of picking your own rock and painting that too, also separate brushes in each paint pot works a bit better, ie. this is the yellow paint brush, this is the blue paint brush etc and woe betide anyone who mixes up the brushes, but you have to sit to ensure harmony, basically your house does not exist until both bears go to primary. hope its ok to share this opinion, longtime reader first time commentor, love the blog, helps me feel sane.

  5. As soon as I saw the photo of Mister Maker I knew it'd be a paint-related story (and not just because of the title). My son is always watching it, and insisting on making "Glow in the dark caterpillars" or whatever crappy things he teaches kids to make.

    MM xx

  6. Were you watching my house by any chance. You got it perfectly right, that moment that happens every time the paints come out - right down to finding a jaffa cake to lift my spirits at the end! x

  7. Aw, I saw the one with ugly rocks the other day! Didn't realise they'd be so hard to make - LOL! I think I'd be far too scared to leave kids alone with paint brushes - you actually got off pretty lightly!

  8. This is exactly why I have a nanny sweetie x

  9. Ahhhh, having flashbacks reading this post! I am now at the stage that last night I wanted an early night and was wandering around in my dressing gown at 10pm with my mobile calling my 9yo who was up the road having a ball. Pleading with her to come in so I could lock the door and go to bed!!!! How the F** did that happen!!

  10. I think Anonymous is right too, how DARE you think you can do anything FOR YOURSELF while they are painting?!!! Nice try though. -HMx

  11. Memories came flooding back!
    Mine had a friend over and they both got on with painting rocks (they were about 7 years old) then they disappeared and I thought they had gone to play outside. They came in shortly, glowing with excitement as they had sold 24 painted ugly rocks for 10p each to the neighbours! I still had to clear up their mess though!

  12. I'm so glad I'm not the only one with arts & crafts related meltdowns (me, not them)

  13. all is well that ends well, mommy bear was happy when she found the cake, so the baby got his wish to paint and mom got her cake to eat, great post


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