Rediscovering the 'Me' in 'Mumeeeeeee'

'I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways'. (Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, 1861)

March 19, 2010

The 'un' truth about Hot Cross Mum

I have been challenged to lie to you. I know, shocking isn't it? But I don't like to turn down a challenge, so lie to you I will. The challenge which has been passed to me by the lovely Bridgid at Sort Of Writing, is to list 6 untruths and 1 half truth about me. But which is the half truth?

1. I am actually half mum, half robot. Technically, this makes me a Mumbot. Here's the proof.

2. Approximately a year ago I was attacked by swans and they stole my engagement ring.

3. My poem, 'Ode to the Kitchen Table' is being turned into a West End musical starring Jedward and Kerry Katona. The first three weeks are already completely sold out.

4. While I pretend to be a busy Stay At Home Mum, I actually have an army of assistants who I employ to manage my sprawling country estate and write my blog posts. Even my son occasionally contributes. I actually spend most of my time luxuriating in goat's milk and drinking champagne.

5. My children are practically organic from head to toe and have never been to McDonalds.

6. I am extremely lucky to be married to a real life Superhero.

7. I have never traumatised my child by taking him through a car wash.

So, which is the half truth and which are just blatant lies? I'd also like to pass this award/challenge onto the following, who I'm sure won't have any problem coming up with some little white lies!

Before you go, head over to the latest British Mummy Bloggers carnival over at Baby Baby. It's the biggest ever (and that IS true!)



  1. Yt's #7. No, #5. No, #s 4 and 5. And #6... oh I give up!

  2. Very funny post, I am inclined to go with the luxuriating in goats milk and sipping champagne one because that sounds so like my day and so is perfectly feasible.
    Also the organic diet for children is very believable and I have such difficulty explaining to my kids what a happy meal is, they would be lost without their tofu and picked from the garden vegetables.
    I am going to however choose the engagement ring one even though I hope it's not true, the half truth is that it was a duck pond.
    Great fun, thanks !

  3. It's the engagement ring story. SO true, I remember Reading about that incident!!
    Love this post.

  4. Hmmm. Looks interesting! The hope the Jedward/Katona West End Musical is made up! Thanks for the tag.

  5. I'm with Emma on this one:) This is a great post, v entertaining and I enjoyed the trip around the posts :) Jen.

  6. You are hilarious. I'm putting my money on the swans and the engagement ring story.

  7. Wel, most of you guessed it. The half truth is that I lost my engagement ring, except it was ducks who attacked me now swans. Well, OK, they didn't attack me but they made me lose my ring by causing it to fly off my finger while throwing them bread so technically it's all their fault. Read the post link above if you still don't believe me!


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