Rediscovering the 'Me' in 'Mumeeeeeee'

'I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways'. (Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, 1861)

October 14, 2009

Mum-Rage


Wrath is the 5th sin in my ‘run-up-to-Hallowe’en’ Seven Deadly Sins of Parenting series, but ‘Wrath’ is a strange and somewhat old-fashioned word, so I’m updating this and calling it ‘Mum-Rage’.

I define ‘Mum-Rage’ as ‘an over-whelming desire to scream in the most hysterical manner imaginable whilst preferably throwing something, slamming something or swearing like a fish-wife’.

So, what exactly is it that makes my blood boil so?

1. Shoes.
Namely, a complete refusal to co-operate in putting them on. After calmly attempting, five times, to put them on backwards (as the child refuses to sit on his bottom), and starting from scratch when they are finally on, only to be dutifully removed by said child, mum-rage will hit when you finally manage to force the unwilling feet into the shoes again, only to realise that they are on the wrong feet.

2. Car seats.
It’s hard enough getting a sleeping or compliant child into a car seat, let alone a rigid, screaming, arm-flailing one. Mum-rage will occur at the precise point when you have the flailing child’s arms through the straps, but you cannot find the buckle piece as they are sat on it.

3. Food.
After tempting, coercing, playing, and using all manner of encouragement known to man, mum-rage will take it’s full effect when, half-an-hour after the dinner was put on the table, there has still been only one pea and half a carrot consumed. Bored beyond belief, the other child will have wandered off to wreak havoc in the downstairs loo and emerges like an Andrex Puppy with loo roll wound all around him. The uneaten dinner will then be thrown angrily into the sink, bin or occasionally onto the floor, accompanied by a dessert of expletives.

4. Bedtime.
After a long and utterly exhausting day, an arduous battle to brush toddler teeth, several repetitions of the four-year-old’s current favourite story, a chat about snakes, a chat about toes and three additional cups of water, mum-rage will commence when you are sitting down to attempt to eat your dinner for the fifth time, and you hear the dreaded ‘Muuuumeeeeeee’ from the top of the stairs.

OK, perhaps I have anger-management issues. I’m not called Hot Cross Mum for nothing you know.


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19 comments:

  1. Nope. Not just you - I get all those (and more besides) too!

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  2. Oh lord! Having it at the moment as dd no longer lets us change her without a MASSIVE struggle. Yesterday was a "poo down the leg" day which made the flailing limbs all the more fun to avoid!

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  3. You can add dad-rage as sin number 5(a) too! I sometimes think I'm turning into Victor Meldrew...

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  4. only 4 on the list, sounds like you were having a good day!

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  5. Yep can identify with every single one of these. My Mum Rage response to the shoes coming off is often 'right you have to go out in your socks then'. He then gets damp socks walking out to the car. This seems mean writing it now. In fact I feel quite guilty, will go and give him a kiss and a cuddle before I go to bed. Mum Rage is extremely short lived.

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  6. Soooo not just you - except my child REFUSES to keep her shoes on - they come off in the car, at school at the slightest provocation.
    And food - oh food - "is pasta ok for dinner' 'yep' - half hour later 'dinner time' ' ewwww I'm not eating THAT' (as though it is - oh I don't know- a plate full of boiled celery)
    Sigh. Thank you for making me smile :)

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  7. Ha - you are so right. I spend a lot of time in Mum Rage mode despite vowing to be different about 50 times a week. I love your blog and I'm glad you found me - thanks for reading!! Am signing on to be a follower....

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  8. LOL, you forgot CBeebies rage - where you spend hours hearing that little voice say "Beebies Mamma, Beebies Mamma" over and over and over again - I am always tempted to throw the remote into the TV screen (but as I am trying to lead by example and have banned Ben from touching the TV I have been very restrained!)

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  9. I get mum-rage at six o'clock no matter what they are doing.

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  10. God you've all made me feel better. Mum-rage nearly propelled me to throw myself over the bannister today.... at my child's birthday party no less. Mum-rage occurred when after a week of party planning and a 2am bed-time due to mermaid cake making (don't ask) she bloody bit me. Bit me!!!!!!!! well done hot cross mum - you saved my day.

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  11. Ha! How about not cleaning up the toys when asked a hundred times... that feeling seems to come up on me around 5 pm...

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  12. My goodness - we're all utterly angry!
    @Potty Mummy - and more besides? Please tell us more!
    @Muddy No Sugar - 'Hello' and glad you're in the rage club too!
    @Mammy Diaries - ah yes, the nappy struggle. Grrr.
    @Dotterel - 'I don't believe it'!
    @Snaffles - I had to restrain myself to just 4!
    @Whistle Jacket - I feel guilty now too!
    @April @Kate - 'Hello' fellow ragers!
    @Ellen - CBeebies rage deserves a post entirely of it's own!
    @Mwa - LOL!
    @Mummy Mania - Oh dear, that doesn't sound too pleasant. Biting usually features in most of my days of it makes you feel any better!
    @Modern Mother - oh yes, selective deafness. Double grrrrr!

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  13. All of this is true for me too and I go into Mum-Rage level 2 when the struggling toddler swings their head hitting my lip, wedging it suddenly and painfully against my teeth to give me a throbbing, fat lip and then I just wish that someone could magic me away to a silent, peaceful time out somewhere faraway, I wouldn't care that "it wasn't me who started it."

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  14. At least we have twitter for sharing our guilt about shouting!

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  15. Gone are the days of la-la-la-ing and being off with the fairies!

    I wish I was still with the fairies...it was a lot less stress.

    RMxx

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  16. I can definitely relate to all of those, but just told my older boys that these things are non-negotiable. You do them. Period.

    And, then I had my third son and that all went out the window. Talk about battles, wrath and more with all of those!

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  17. Mine likes to pull them off and chew on her shoes. Have I mentioned that Ugg boots for babies cost about 100 times as much as the adult version, if you consider the amount of fabric used?

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