Rediscovering the 'Me' in 'Mumeeeeeee'

'I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways'. (Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, 1861)

November 23, 2010

Tough lessons to learn

Oh my poor, poor children. They are growing up. And it's tough.

First, we've had a run of birthday parties where my eldest was invited and the youngest wasn't. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later and although the parents kindly invited the little guy, I feel that I have to let the eldest have his own friends, and his own fun, without having one eye out for his little brother all the time. My poor little boy just couldn't understand why his big brother was going somewhere with a big present and coming home with a party bag and a balloon hat. I did my best to not make a big deal of the parties; we did special things together while the older brother was partying, had our own party bags, had our own fun, but his little voice still insisted that 'It's not fair'.

Then we had the older brother getting upset when it was the little fella's birthday - how come he was getting lots of presents and he wasn't getting any? We explained, we wiped away the tears, we explained again, but his slightly bigger voice still insisted, 'It's not fair'.

And finally, we had the incident of the Spiderman costume - you know, the one with the bulging muscles? My eldest - who recently turned 5 - has, for years, been beating himself into a Spiderman costume which is for 2-3 year olds. He ran upstairs to put it on the other day, only to return back to the kitchen a few minutes later, clearly not dressed up as Spiderman. "It doesn't fit," he wailed, sobbing into my shoulder. "I'm too big." This, from a boy, who has spent most of his talking life telling us he wants to be big. I cuddled him and although I felt sad for him, couldn't help smiling at the irony of it all. Daddy somehow resisted the urge to pat him on the back and say 'You're growing up son. Soon you'll be a real man like your Daddy."

And then it was my turn. Yesterday, the 5 year old was busily drawing a picture for his Daddy's birthday. He told me he was drawing a picture of our family. It was very cute (see below).
"Tell me who everybody is love," I said.

"That's Daddy. That's me and that's Sam."

"Oh. And where is mummy?"

"There wasn't room for you mummy."

Tough lessons indeed.



  1. Ah what tough lessons, but ones I have to encounter soon too. I hope I manage it with the grace you have

  2. Oh. Tough lessons indeed.

    I was otld recently by Lexie, now 4, that she didn;t need to draw a picure of me. Becasue she was with me all the time anyway. And she showed me the hand. Bring on school, I say, for that little madam.

  3. And sadly it doesn't stop as they get older. We went on holiday at half term, for the first time without our eldest who has just started university. I felt soooo guilty that the younger one was getting to go and I missed him like mad!

  4. very tough..I've have been tempted to pencil myself in!!

  5. That is so hard to hear!! Sympathies, but I'm betting he more than makes up for it with lots of litte son's hugs and kisses? x Last year my eldest wore his much smaller cousin's spiderman outfit for a fancy dress party and looked totally ridiculous but it's one of my favourite photos of him because of that! (He is 6'4" and his cousin is 5'8")! At least he didn't cry because he was too big - that would have been worrying!!

  6. It's you I feel most sorry for, being left out of the picture like that. I'd have cried into my pillow that night if it had been me. My eldest has just turned 5 and he's suddenly finding life tough. I think he's realised that growing up isn't always a good thing!

  7. He could have said you were taking the picture. I think you need to work oh his diplomacy.

  8. Oh so typical. Same here - I take care of them all day, but all day I get asked when will daddy be here. Mummy is taken for granted too much.


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