The Trouble With Men
They cause mess, clutter and leave a trail of destruction around the house. Socks, shoes, bank statements, wash bags, loose change, mobile phone chargers, receipts, golf score cards, golf tees, golf shoe studs and other such ‘man’ stuff clutter every imaginable surface of your home, rendering a good polish practically impossible.
Men are also incapable of putting things back into the fridge after making themselves a sandwich. They don't know where the plates are kept as they never use one and don't know where the dishwasher is as they are only able to put dinner plates within close proximity of the dishwasher, but fail to ever put them into the dishwasher itself, so baffled they are as to its possible whereabouts.
Perhaps the most troublesome thing about men is that despite living in the same house as you, they do not know where any of the children’s clothes are kept. Simple instructions to fetch a clean vest and socks can cause untold confusion and frustration.
Men also don't understand that there are some towels which are used for every day and there are separate, 'posh' ones which are used only when guests are visiting. Similarly, they do not realise that there are some mugs which should not be used when making guests a cup of tea or coffee.
When challenged on their level of contribution to the general up-keep of the house, men will claim that they do more than their fair share. The reason you are not aware of them doing any jobs is because, unlike yourself, they don't feel there is any benefit to be gained by drawing your attention to the matter. The sort of jobs men undertake in this mysterious manner include such essential tasks as sharpening the meat knives, re-aligning the gas burners on the hob or straightening up the umbrella plant.
Even men who are handy in the kitchen are troublesome. Their intentions may be honourable, but for goodness sake, how long and how many pans does it take to make a bowl of pesto pasta? With all the noises coming from the kitchen when men are cooking, you would think they were installing the cooker, never mind boiling a pan of pasta on it.
So, that's my counter-attack done. Thank you for reading!
I would like to point out that most of what is observed here is based on careful, scientific research and is in no way a direct reflection of my own husband’s domestic habits or of any men within my acquaintance or who read this blog.