Dads are from Mars......

.....Mums are from an entirely different galaxy altogether. According to recent scientific research*, Dads approach parenting in an entirely different, and often bizarre, way to Mums. Evidence collected has highlighted a number of areas where the parenting techniques of Dads seem to be particularly odd.

Dressing children - Dads appear to, unfailingly, make very odd choices when dressing their children. Despite attempts at domesticity by Mums who store clothes in drawers and wardrobes in some form of semi-organisation, Dads have an uncanny ability to find only dirty clothes which have been left on the bedroom floor (and should have been put into the laundry basket days ago) and proudly put these onto the child - completely failing to notice the grass and yoghurt stains splattered all over them. Similarly, trousers with massive, gaping holes in the knees (which should have been sewn up, or disposed of months ago) miraculously re-appear from the back of the drawer - while the perfectly un-holed trousers remain, untroubled, in the wardrobe. When Mums expresses outrage at these crap outfits the Dads find, the Dads just cannot fathom what all the fuss is about.

Washing faces - Dads approach washing a child's face in the same way as they would approach washing a greasy bicycle wheel - a quick splash with icy cold water and a rub with bare hands will do the trick. This really irritates Mums, especially when they have bought special 'Toy Story' face cloths to please their child and made sure there would be plenty of hot water in the morning, specifically for face washing purposes. Also, the 'cold-water-hand-rub' method fails to get rid of sleepy dust, which Mums then have to remove with a bit of spit and a poke with a fingernail outside the school gate.

Going outside - Dads are immune to the cold and consequently think their young, frail children should be also. They set out to do digging jobs with the children in the garden on a chilly autumn day in shorts and a t-shirt and cannot understand the Mum's incessant fuss, fuss, fussing about the application of long sleeves, jackets, hats and gloves. Dads appear bemused and surprised when the children ask to go back inside 5 minutes into the gardening job because they are cold. Mums have to resist the urge to say 'I told you so'.

So yes, conclusive proof, if proof were needed, that Dads are from Mars and Mums are from, erm, Genius?

Please note that any Dads who are a bit annoyed after reading this and wish to comment on the post to disagree with the points raised, may do so by applying in writing to the Man in the Moon. Thank you.

*source unknown

As a final post script, this post was nominated for the 2010 Brilliance in Blogging Awards and was voted runner up in the 'Funniest Post of 2010' category. Frankly, I am stunned and very thrilled about this so thank you to anyone who read this and voted for me!

Dads are from Mars......