So, I set out on this journey into motherhood with the very best of best intentions. I would be the perfect mother. I'd have boundless energy for my children and would spend my days with them merrily baking, crafting, singing nursery rhymes and running through meadows full of daisies and buttercups. Sweets would be limited to birthday parties, snacks would always be fruit, drinks would always be water, TV would be a treat on Christmas Day. And best of all, we would all snuggle into bed at the end of a fulfilling day and read bedtime stories before having profoud ‘life-lesson’ chats which would stay with my children for the rest of their lives.
Imagine my horror then when it turns out that my mummy reality is, let's just say, slightly different to this perfect ideal I aspired to. The truth is, I do a limited amount of baking and crafting because it all gets a bit too messy and out of control and I end up just getting annoyed. I sing whatever I heard last on the radio which is usually something inappropriate and crap like Lady GaGa. The nearest meadows are a long drive away and most of the time the effort involved to get everyone ready to go there just seems like too much hassle. Sweets are practically a daily occurrence. Snacks are always a biscuit. Drinks are most likely to be juice. TV is a set routine first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Bedtimes are rushed, stressful affairs where the best I can manage is a brief story, a glass of milk, a kiss and an order not to get up again because I am in desperate need of a break.
Suffice to say that I have far from lived up to my own expectations of perfection.
Imagine my horror then when it turns out that my mummy reality is, let's just say, slightly different to this perfect ideal I aspired to. The truth is, I do a limited amount of baking and crafting because it all gets a bit too messy and out of control and I end up just getting annoyed. I sing whatever I heard last on the radio which is usually something inappropriate and crap like Lady GaGa. The nearest meadows are a long drive away and most of the time the effort involved to get everyone ready to go there just seems like too much hassle. Sweets are practically a daily occurrence. Snacks are always a biscuit. Drinks are most likely to be juice. TV is a set routine first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Bedtimes are rushed, stressful affairs where the best I can manage is a brief story, a glass of milk, a kiss and an order not to get up again because I am in desperate need of a break.
Suffice to say that I have far from lived up to my own expectations of perfection.
It’s a harsh lesson to learn that being a mum is a reality – not a Disney movie - but I've realised that it's a lesson worth learning sooner rather than later. Because this is the mother I am - not the mother I think I should be. And do you know what, despite being a bit grouchy sometimes and too knackered to ice cupcakes, I think I'm doing a bloody great job. OK, my 'mummying' may not be perfect, but it's certainly good enough. And perhaps, if we all keep reminding ourselves of that fact, rather than trying to live up to a ridiculous Hollywood ideal and beating ourselves up about the fact that we're failing, then maybe, just maybe, we can all become the perfect mum.
Brilliant post, that I reckon every mum can identify with. And if they can't I don't want to know.
ReplyDeleteI had pretty much the same dreams, with pretty much the same results. It's good to hear someone else having this experience and being so positive about it, it's inspiring.
Thanks again.
What? You mean I don't have to cook three course meals every day and make their clothes?
ReplyDeleteWell said!
ReplyDeleteI fell into that same trap, and it's a knock to your confidence each time it doesn't work out the way it 'should'.
My mum said to me once that children have to fit in around you and not the other way around, which sounded harsh but to a certain extent it's true.
So when I have to get ready for work and ignore the tugging at my clothes to go and throw cars over the bannister I try and remember that even if I can't be rolling around on the carpet all morning tickling, I'm still a good mum.
We are all perfect mums to our children. Mine say they love me more than anything and today I shouted at my 2YO and made him cry after I spent the morning cleaning shit off the carpet!! But he still adores me, and me - him!
ReplyDeleteThe 'Charlotte in SATC2' image of baking cupcakes whilst wearing a vintage white Valentino pencil skirt is tedious- so we don't bake - who cares! I'd rather be snuggling up on the sofa with my kids in my trackie bottoms!
You are doing a great job - in fact, we all are!
Oh thank you! I think I'll allow myself to go and have a lie down now...
ReplyDeleteSweets, juice and TV - Shocking lol
ReplyDelete(actually sounds a lot like my house)
Here , here I posted just recently about good enough parenting. I love the fact you have accepted who you are! Mich x
ReplyDeleteI don't believe in this ideal of the yummy mummy baking all day and life being just perfect. I doesn't happen! Thanks for the reminder though!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! And rightly said.
ReplyDeleteI think it is best not to be perfect. Children need something to rebel against, and if you were 'perfect' (whatever that is!), they'd rebel against that too and it would be a hard image to live up to. We are only do our best, just as you are doing, within our limitations. No-one is perfect. We can only stive to be good enough. Brilliant post!
ReplyDeleteHere's to good enough!
ReplyDeleteOh that really made me laugh (heartily in recognition). Superb post. Here's to good enough!
ReplyDeleteYes - it's a relief to come to terms with our own failings and impefections,isn't it?
ReplyDeletePopped over from Diary of a Frugal Family and loved your blog. I am thinking of writing a post about the Good Enough Mum - you mention the phrase being good enough... it's been in the media a bit recently. I too turned 39 on the 11th of June.... happy belated birthday! Roll on 40 eh? - HMx
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel -- some days I'm just the picture of perfection and others. Well, best not go there. At least they have clean underwear ... most days!
ReplyDeleteA mummy that perfect has to be on Mogadon XXX Three cheers for the Real Mammy XXX
ReplyDeleteI think blogging is a must for most businesses, not just construction,
ReplyDelete