Rediscovering the 'Me' in 'Mumeeeeeee'

'I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways'. (Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, 1861)

December 2, 2011

The twelve days of a parent's Christmas

To be sung to the tune of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' (obviously!)

On the first day of Christmas, my children gave to me, a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the second day of Christmas, my children gave to me, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the third day of Christmas, my children gave to me, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my children gave to me, four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my children gave to me, five stolen things - four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my children gave to me, six friends for play dates, five stolen things - four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my children gave to me, seven loads of washing, six friends for play dates, five stolen things - four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my children gave to me, eight hours sulking, seven loads of washing, six friends for play dates, five stolen things - four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my children gave to me, nine silly dances, eight hours sulking, seven loads of washing, six friends for play dates, five stolen things - four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my children gave to me, ten stones for keeping, nine silly dances, eight hours sulking, seven loads of washing, six friends for play dates, five stolen things - four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my children gave to me, eleven minutes typing, ten stones for keeping, nine silly dances, eight hours sulking, seven loads of washing, six friends for play dates, five stolen things - four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs and a toilet floor covered in wee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my children gave to me, twelve 'mum, mum, muuuuum-ings', eleven minutes typing, ten stones for keeping, nine silly dances, eight hours sulking, seven loads of washing, six friends for play dates, five stolen things - four rude words, three Ben Ten's, two dirty mugs,

and a toilet floor covered in weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

This post was written for Potty Mummy and Expat Mum who made me properly Laugh Out Loud and inspired me to blog about wee on the floor after some shared tweeting on the matter.

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14 comments:

  1. Oooh, lovely to have been the inspiration for this great post. Even if we were chatting about boys and wee!
    I might have a go myself as I'm a bit "dry" at the moment!

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  2. I love it! And thanks for the name check, unnecessary but always very welcome! As for trying it myself, my oldest son is sick so it looks as if I'll be housebound tomorrow. Who knows? Maybe I can come up with my own 'riff' (get me with the musical terms) on this theme... x

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  3. A great version of an old classic. It will never sound the same again!

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  4. That's fantastic. Our toilet floor is always covered in wee, and my own boys are obsessed with Ben Ten, so I know exactly where you are coming from...

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  5. Hahaha, I absolutely love it. I won't be able to sing the original now without sniggering!

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  6. One of the things I had to get used to when I became stepmum to a boy!!

    This was a hilarious post, very well done!

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  7. That is hilarious! brilliant! -HMx

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  8. Oh god this is so funny, the "stones for keeping" is my son's thing - I have a dish of them! Once threw them out the window and he copped them and brought them all back in again with a "I told you to keep these, Mammy" through gritted teeth! Very good :)

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  9. Excellent!!! Made me lol even though I'm trying to get my son to sleep at 11.20pm! I'll be pointing people in the direction of this12 days!!

    Áine

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  10. Oh, how I can relate to this!! Happy Chrimbo to ya! x

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  11. Yep, always the floor covered in wee!

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