Rediscovering the 'Me' in 'Mumeeeeeee'

'I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways'. (Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, 1861)

December 1, 2009

A mum's letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been quite a good mummy this year, so for Christmas I would like….

  • A new pair of hands – mine are looking very much like they belong to a 90-year old gardener.
  • Some anti-shouting pills or something to prevent me from slamming things in a mum-rage.
  • A new car would be lovely. Preferably one which doesn’t let in the rain and soak the boy’s car seats, or one which actually gets warm. Either would be nice. Actually, one like daddy’s car would be very nice.
  • Would it be possible to have some self-dying hair, self-manicuring nails and self-applying make-up as I never seem to have the time to do any of this myself.
  • Actually, talking of time, a couple of extra hours a day would be great. In fact, make that four extra hours, but you must insist that I am only allowed to do things for myself in those extra hours.
  • A self-cleaning floor would be great.
  • A sense of style would be lovely.
  • I may be pushing my luck here, but if you could see your way to bringing me my very own Nigella Lawson or Annabel Karmel to deal with all the children’s meals that would be nice. Failing that, if you could fill my freezer with a year’s supple of ready-to-serve, nutritious, organic meals that would be fine.
  • Oh, and some of those nice chocolates from the coffee shop in the village if you can squeeze them in.
Thanks very much. I left out a mince pie which I made with the children. See, I really am a good mum!


  1. That is a great list, although I would have to add a bathroom door I can shut so I can do my business in peace!

  2. Not much then! What a fabulous list, I might do the same if you don't mind - could turn it into a kind of meme!!

    CJ xx

  3. Pippa - oh yeah, forgot that one!
    CJ - absolutely.

  4. Brilliant! Made me smile particularly as I was only looking at my hands this morning thinking the same thing along with the hair, nails and makeup one!!

  5. Great list, if only Santa was listening! I'd like a few more hours too...and the chocolates:)

  6. Great list, who said Christmas was for children anyway? Time we were selfish for a change. All these things would be on my list as well as the ability to tidy my house with a Mary Poppins click of the fingers.

  7. Love the list - especially the self dying hair as that is soooo expensive (but sooo necessary) during this credit crunch.I've told husband that he will have to make do with Alpen and hot milk as an evening meal for 5 days every 6 weeks when I need my hair re-coloured!! xx
    Oh yes, and my list would include a nice agent for my novel......

  8. I need new hands as well. That shop could get busy.

  9. I don't really need new hands, but my feet could do with a complete overhaul.

  10. I'd like some of those anti-shouting pills for when my boyfriend winds me up :)

  11. hillarious.. though the hands thing is scary!! I can barely look at mine these days!!


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