Rediscovering the 'Me' in 'Mumeeeeeee'

'I have always thought that there is no more fruitful source of family discontent than a housewife’s badly-cooked dinners and untidy ways'. (Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, 1861)

August 27, 2009

Top of The Tots

Here we go with this week’s TOTT countdown: How to distract your mummy when she’s driving

New entry at 10 - Just after getting onto the motorway, drop the book you were quietly reading. This means you have the perfect excuse to start causing trouble.

No move at 9 - Complain profusely about her choice of music and INSIST that she puts the Dingle Dangle Scarecrow on repeat. She will get very frustrated trying to reach the CD out of the glove compartment.

Climbing to 8 - Try to take your shoes and socks off. Shout loudly about the fact you do not yet have the requisite motor skills to do this.

New entry at 7 - Spill your drink all over yourself.

Non mover at 6 – Hit your brother with your toy truck so that he cries annoyingly for the rest of the journey.

This week’s highest climber at 5 - Drop your teddy just out of her reach and then wail and fuss about it until she has to pull over and get it for you.

Down two places at 4 - Ask repeatedly for more milk, even though you know there is none in the car and you've just gone past the last garage.

Climbing to 3 - Protest loudly about the whole journey taking too long. If you can’t actually talk yet, demonstrate your annoyance by kicking vigorously and trying to take your arms out of the car seat straps. This is sure to get her attention.

Non mover at 2 - Sneeze and produce an alarmingly large amount of snot which has to be wiped up immediately.

And straight in at number 1 - Vomit all over yourself and your brother. This is particularly effective if you're on your way to a party or some other event when you both have your especially nice clothes on!

Next week's countdown: Things you can get away with when your mum is on the phone.



  1. That's brilliant! LOL I like it :)

  2. They are all so true - I always wonder how they learn to say "Are we there yet?" as soon as they can talk.

  3. Brilliant. Looking forward to next week's. The arms-out-of-carseat is the one most bothering me this week.

  4. I love the one where they repeatedly ask to go somewhere other than where you are bringing them to and you have to explain how we are not going there today 17 zillion times!!!! Sheils

  5. You missed our entry from nowhere this holiday... nudge the window open a fraction just as daddy accelerates on the motorway, and watch the sunshade go flying!

  6. Very good. Like Mwa , I've a little escape artist on my hands.

  7. I love this! We also have arms out of the seatbelt and a million questions about where we're going! x

  8. Hi Hazel,

    Laura here (A fellow Hello Blogger and Inkweller). I just noticed that you write for the Leinster Leader too! (I write the Literary Column.) Loved your article this week. The BC thing was so funny!!

  9. Love it, look forward to next weeks countdown.


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