1. Do not stay when the invitation has specifically told you to drop the children and go. This is mildly irritating for the hosting parent.
2. Do not bring along your husband and other children, when the invite was specifically only for one child. This is VERY irritating for the hosting parent.
3. Do not greet the returning parents with a large glass of wine in your hand and then trip up over a balloon and fall over. This does not give the impression that you have been an entirely responsible adult in their absence.
4. Do not listen to your husband when he suggests taking the 7 four-year-olds upstairs to the attic to dance. This will bring the ‘party’ to an abrupt end as the boys will make a beeline for the train track and two princesses dancing does not a party make.
5. Do not attempt to feed seven children sausages and chips at 3.30pm in the afternoon when they have stuffed their faces with sweets for an hour already (I still do not know precisely why I thought this would be a good idea).
6. Do not give chocolate cake to children who have come in fancy dress oufits which they will be going Trick or Treating in later that evening.Their mothers will not be best pleased at the added brown-ness.
7. Do not face paint over the face paint the child already had on when they arrived. Their mothers will not be best pleased.
8. Do not put things in the girl’s party bags which the boys do not have. Who would have thought that a pink, sparkly eye mask would provoke such an outpouring of grief.
9. Do not allow your toddler to eat popcorn – it will cause them to vomit all over their lovely lion costume.
10. Do not resist the urge to kick your husband sharply in the shin when he announces to the returning parents, “Well – I think next year we’ll definitely be hiring somewhere. This was a bit chaotic”.
(All events and characters referred to above are fictional. Any resemblance to actual events or to persons living or deceased is, ahem, purely coincidental).
12 comments:
Hate em, Hate em, Hate em. I have a 22 year old and this year was THE FIRST EVER that she did not have a Birthday Party... and beyond odd moments of pleasure, each one filled me with dread beforehand and a headache on the day!
Whoever invented Kids Birthday Parties should be shot... AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON BLOODY SLEEPOVERS. Who the hell thought that one up???
Feel better now....
So perhaps there is only one rule KIDS BIRTHDAYS ARE BEST CELEBRATED WITH GRANNY COMING OVER FOR BIRTHDAY CAKE AND BIRTHDAY TEA!!! End of...
Hehehee!
We vowed this afternoon that next year we are hiring the hall at the local community centre.
:D
Ah dear - childrens parties - the joy!
Wow. When did kids' parties become so insane? Number 1 on your list is the most irritating to me - it's annoying when people overstay at a party when I've specified an end time - mainly because by this point I need to fall on the floor in a heap of exhaustion!
Truly funny, and has just strengthened my resolve to never have a party at my house.
I am now feeling slightly scared for my sons first birthday party on Friday!! It is Friday the 13th after all!!
classic!
Love it!
You were brave to have the kids dropped off!! I'm only just getting up to that with my 13-year-old! LOL Anyway, did you just have the one glass then?
Wow! I thought kids parties were meant to be fun - I guess I've been watching too many movies and am now clearly showing my lack of children-ness. Well done for surviving!
The joy of children's birthday parties! I remember them well!
Brilliant and very funny. Clearly the voice of experience! Love the glass of wine bit!! Very tempting, I'm sure.
am beginning to be pleased that louis was so sick for his first birthday party that we had to cancel it!!
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